14 years!!!

Today marks the 14^th year that Casey & I have been an “item.”  What’s cool about this year in particular is that we started dating 14 years ago, and on our wedding anniversary in August, we’ll have been married for half of that time together.  I have to say, that it has been quite an adventure.  

Fourteen years ago, a very shy Casey asked me to go see a The Wedding Singer with him.  Of course, I said yes.  Later that Friday night Casey showed up to my house, and met my father.  Now, this was the first time that any of the guys that I dated actually wanted to meet my dad.  He spent so much time schmoozing my dad that we ended up missing the movie.  So, instead of a movie we went to play at the Nugget arcade.  We had an awkwardly sweet time.  

Many years later here we are.  We have had our many ups, and our many downs.  We have worked really hard to make sure that we grow together.  We started dating when he was a senior in and I was a junior in High School. That is a whole lot of changes that we have weathered together.  We are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I think daily we grow stronger together. 

The biggest lesson that I have learned in my relationship with Casey is how important it is for me to allow him to be a man.  I know most people say communication, and I don’t disagree with that.  However, I think many women construe communication as them talking at their husbands, and expecting them to listen to us.  Well, listening and talking is a two way street.  How many of us take a step back and actually listen to what our husbands are trying to tell us?  How many of us can’t hear our husbands because the only one talking is us?  How many women complain, “He refuses to talk!  I don’t know how to make him open up.”?  I know that this is a very old fashioned concept.  But I have found that when I offer my opinion, shut up, step back and let Casey process … Well the result is pretty awesome.  He loves me and I have to trust that he is going to make the best possible decisions for our family.  He takes my opinion into consideration, and usually it gets thrown into the mix, or if not, he usually has a reasonable explanation as to why that didn’t work.  I love that if I give him enough time, he comes to me with answers that he has carefully considered.  I am not satisfied every time with the outcome.  However, I am super satisfied with the level of happiness I see in my husband.  So, basically what I am saying is the biggest lesson I have learned in 14 years is to shut up, and be patient.  

I love my sweet Husby very, very much, and I hope we can have another 43 years together (that would put us at our 50^th wedding anniversary.)  If you are reading this Casey … *SMOOCH* HAPPY (dating) ANNIVERSARY!!!               

Old School

So, I am thinking seriously about going back to school.  Just typing that sentence made me want to throw up from fear. It would change everything.  I think it would be amazing and fantastical.  However, I still remember college.  I still have nightmares about college.  I have these dreams where I am showing up to a class and discover that I have missed a whole bunch of assignments, and tests, and lectures.  On paper it doesn’t sound terrible, but I wake up in a cold sweat, short of breath.  These are things that elicit real terror for many college students. 

I graduated from college six and a half years ago.  This is a long time to be out of the game to jump back in.  But I think that I would take different things from the experience this time around.  I would have a deeper appreciation for the learning process.  I would take my assignments more seriously.  I would take classes that I truly want to take, and of course there will be a few that I have to take, but there wouldn’t be any filler classes just to make sure I have credits on my plate.  

What do I want to go back to school for?  I would LOVE to be a marriage and family therapist.  But, the caveat to this is I want to offer therapy from a Biblical standpoint.  I love family, and children.  I think that kids that have problems (ie. Anger, bullying, Emotional etc.) should not be trying to process these problems on their own.  Their parents should be deeply engaged and part of the child’s learning process.  I would love to counsel families, from the Bible and try to have them all heal together as a unit.  

So, herein lays my biggest problem.  I need to find a Christian college that does graduate work in marriage and family counseling.  I am fast discovering that I may end up having to earn my degree online.  This creates so many more fears.  I am not really a self motivated person.  Would I be able to handle online schooling?  I think I could, I would just need to be a lot freer from distractions than I currently am now. 

There are so many concerns that come up when I roll this whole problem around in my head.   Where am I going to get the money to pay for all this?  I still owe a ton of money from my bachelor’s degree.  How am I going to do this?  All the tests and questionnaires, just to get into school; that is if I can even find one!  Am I going to have enough time with my husband?  What if I get pregnant, will my schooling cease?  Will I even be able to utilize this degree after I actually get it?  Is this what God really wants for my life? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  This whole process is terrifying.  *SIGH*

Right now I am going to take it one day at a time.  I’m praying that God will open doors if this is what He wants.  I am going to start moving forward, and try to not allow my fear to stop me.  Pray for me!